A Softened Heart

“Remember when we were in New Orleans...”

She hated when he was like this. He’d be sipping his drink and sink into a boozy detour with nostalgia. She’d casually hold her glass of wine in mild amusement and lend her ear because she loved the man.

“And took a trip on that river boat? It was just you and I on the stern of that old ship overlooking the whole delta. We watched the sunset and held eachother as those giant paddles roared below. I went in for a kiss and you spilt your fucking drink all over me!”

He began laughing in his drunken cackle. She couldn’t help but follow suit. She slapped his leg and threw her arms around him.

“Honey, I love you.” she said

“I love you more than life itself.”

She really hated when he’d get like this. He drank too much, but was always sweet. His ramblings were either reminiscent or of future plans together. That, she didn’t hate. He was always there to tug at the heart strings at what always seemed to be the right moment. She knew she loved him and he loved her. With that, comes a softened heart.

Bruised Peach

Backlit by a western sun on the set of our own fairytale, she simply looked up at me over a bowl of fruit. I couldn’t help but smile, and in that moment of grace and purity, I was overtaken by darkness. An intense sadness of knowing that no point in my life would ever amount to the sheer and unequivocal happiness I experienced from watching her turn to look at me. I have never seen anything so beautiful.

Small Victories

He looked at the sunsetting in the west

and was thankful to be surfing these waves.

It was the right place at the right time

like coming home to a beautifully cooked dinner

or getting laid.

Burnt Toast

Ever since she walked out that door

Mary doesn’t light up the room anymore

It’s just a quiet space with dust on the floor

and a lonely man sleep on the couch

It’s a fridge full of produce that goes old

A heavier pour in each drink that you hold

Another cigarette rolled to smoke out in the cold

as you stare at that wedding ring

Don’t worry you’ll get through this they say

but it’s three in the morning and you’re lying awake

All fucked up on her perfume and the things she didn’t take

Just hoping that she doesn’t forget you

On Sunday mornings it hits the hardest

You get all choked up and burn the omelets

Tell yourself it’s time to be honest

She ain’t comin’ home.

Time and Space

The late words of Blaze echo through an empty house tonight. She has left. This home I built is burning and there’s nothing that I can do, but watch. I guess we saw the faults and ignored them, turned our cheek to all the signs, and finally enough was enough. The wheels fell off.

Through all the explosiveness lied an undercurrent of turmoil. The shit that was said, the fists that were clenched - that was all topwater fury. Nothing touched what was brewing below. Then it all finally came to the surface, burning everything in its wake and I’m left frozen in a state of horror and sadness and isolation. I woke up to a dawn I never thought I’d see.

I betrayed her. I betrayed her trust and belittled her just to feel mighty. Look where that got you, you fucking idiot. Instead of nurturing her and supporting her, you neglected her. The most beautiful, highly neurotic and highly emotional woman stepped into your life and filled every void in that deep and saddened soul of yours only for you to push her away. Now you’re forced to face every morning with her perfume on your pillows as a reminder that she’s not there. The woman that you love has walked out the door. All of her issues and idiosyncrasies, piles of clothes or plates left out - they’ve all vanished. There’s nothing that you can do, but wait. The house is burning, but you have to wait. Welcome to hell. Maybe that’s what it’ll take though. Maybe something will rise from the ashes like some beautiful Phoenix. Time will only tell.

But if I could have one wish come true, it’d be to come home to you and find our way into each others arms.

Until then, I’ll be waiting patiently.

Dreams of a Picket Fence

Well I’ve got my demons

Hangin from the ceilings

Looking for a place to go

Whether it’s the jack in my cup

Or the coke shoved up my nose

But there’s a light

that shines so bright

Laying on my bedside

Keeping the the devil away for a while

If only at stones throw

When it all burns down and we walk away

I promise I’ll be a better man

Sitting on the couch

Watching the news

Instead of getting drunk with my friends

Because life ain’t worth a livin

If I’m living all alone

Love will save us darlin’

It’s this I’ll let you know

We’ll get a house with a front porch

Where we can pass the time

Sippin iced tea

And burying these demons

That haunt me alive

You put on my old coat

Which smells like smoke

And you give me those sad eyes

But I’m just a lost soul

Buzzin around like some old bar fly

Pools in the Sand

She stood tall walking down to the water

I sat in the sand watching her

Digging my toes in deep

It was that time of day

When the shadows fell long and hard

Sweat dripped off my brow

So I rolled over and took a slug

The wine was warm and sweet

She came back dripping wet

Her hair over her shoulder

and a pool of water formed in the sand

from when she rang it out

I looked up

My eyes adjusted

and I felt that beautiful moment

slip through my fingers.

Fresh Air

When it happened it wasn’t exactly clear

But you felt it when she turned up

The knob on your finicky radio

And rolled the window down to stick her hand

Out in the breeze.

It was your favorite Stevie Wonder tune

And she sang the chorus out of key.

You were smiling anyways

Letting out a little laugh

Only to feel her hand slap your chest

Telling you to shut the fuck up

And by the look in her eye

You know she was right

Observations from the Porch

Maybe I’m getting older

but I swear that if the wind is blowing just right

the sound of a soft piano

brightens the stars

A Stroll Down Streets of Gold

There’s a certain solace

In throwing your alarm

Across the room

With he intensity of a Molotov cocktail.

Having the shadows of palms run through your hair

And the stench of negligence

Stuck on your upper lip.

Rolling around like a freshly fucked man

Knocking over a bottle of cheap champagne

Laughing at all the clothes

She left on the floor.

Then you let out

A yawn to the gods

As you take a piss

With one arm over your head

The other on your cock

Looking down

At this thing

Feeling glorious

Glamour of Love

I left a little early to beat the traffic

The second overpass had other plans

I knew it was all over

The brake lights

The cars

The horns

And the all mighty middle finger

Pointing to the fact that the gods aren’t in my favor

I phoned my woman to see what she wanted for dinner

She had a shit day

And was sure to let me know about it

After I realized it wasn’t going anywhere I hung up

Threw the damn phone

I baked the fish

Grabbed her hips

Danced to Nina Simone

In the kitchen next to

Steaming broccoli

Took the fly ridden trash out

Washed the dishes

Showered

Lathered eachother in lavender

“Look how pale your thighs are honey”

“Would you want them any differently?”

She grabbed the towels

Dried us off

While she checked herself for the imperfections

Plucking and popping

Only to lay down

In our towels

Watching the TV

And fall asleep

Holding each other

Waking only to roll over

When it got a little too hot

Drifting into a dream

About the glamour of love

On the Line

I’m at the very edge of civilization

With my ass in the sand

The waves roll in

With an in-discriminatory rage

One after the other

Pounding the shore

Drowning out the world

With its melodic metronome

My line is out

But they’re not here today

Maybe it’s the wind

Or the tide

Or the time

Or it’s just not my day

The gods are pulling the strings

And they paint the sky with nuclear colors

Of of crimson warfare

For all of us to ooh and aweee

And forget about how dreary our lives are

In that moment of beauty

Champagne Grenades

Right before the train falls off the tracks

And the bottles begin to fly

Leaving glass and champagne

Entangled in the bougavaila

There’s a pulse of sincerity

The rhythm of love

Striking the final chords

To our ballad

Happiness and bliss

Hatred and despair

Walk along the edge

Of the devils scythe

It’s a dangerous errand

To give yourself to someone

But there’s no other point

To keep breathing

To keep the heart beating

To keep living

Slow Boat to Hell

The gold has faded

Into the cool blue hour

Of innocence

And she comes to me

Sweet blue heaven

Lift me with your Coletrane melody

Before the the curtain of night falls

Dog In Heat

July in full swing

The heat was up

And you could feel it

In her old little apartment

I was laying naked

as I often do after a night of love

She straightened her hair

In a little chair off in the corner of the room

Sun rays snuck in to take a peak

Of her perfect breasts

Warming the back of her head

Like a halo

God damn it was fucking hot

The ceiling fan whined

As all dogs do on their last leg

Then she crawled over the bed

On all fours

To play with my dong

She got its attention

Putting it to work

The smell of burnt hair

Freshly straightened hair

And I came

Later that day I was in an elevator

Woosh slide the doors and

In walks a woman

The smell of burnt hair

Freshly straightened hair

And I grew hard

To the memory of you

Dialogues & Diatribes